You’ve got a problem. You’re looking for answers. You may be lost or stumbling in the fog of indecision. You may be in a black hole of despair. You may just be unsettled by a feeling that there is more to happiness than you have found where you are right now. You’re not sure where to even begin to get a grip to get out.

The first step is to know you are on your way to a workable solution the minute you recognize that you need to do something about the stress you’re feeling. Right now, in this moment you feel out of control, helpless, and confused. In this same moment, acknowledge instead that you have begun to take back that control by empowering yourself with information. 

Feels good doesn’t it?

Now what, you ask. In everything and every situation you are given an opportunity to choose something.  You may say, that’s not true, this thing happened to me not because of me, and I have no choice. You ALWAYS have at least one choice. You can deal with it or avoid it. You can earnestly evaluate your role in the creation of the problem or recognize when you are in the tailspin of someone else’s story because they are in your life. You can bury your head in the sand or face this thing head on.

Sink or swim.

Ok, so already in the few minutes you’ve taken the time to read this, you’ve accomplished three monumental things. You acknowledged there’s a problem weighing on you and blocking you from living the life you want. You sought information to gain clarity. You claimed your power to choose your path to make the situation better. 

See, you are already getting that foothold to getting out of this place of distress.

Now think about the nature of the problem you are facing. Was it a mistake you made? A misstep along the road where you took a wrong turn? Was it a miscalculation of the impact of a decision? Is it the fallout of consequences of a specific action? Sometimes the knee-jerk responses to problems are an opening for more trouble than you bargain for. Take a moment to see if it was something you did or didn’t do. No judgement. No blame. Simple facts you can use like headlights through this fog. 

Relationships bring satisfaction and fulfilment to your life. They also bring problems. Is the situation you’re facing the result of someone else’s actions? You are many things to many people. Every relationship in your life as a partner, a parent, a child, a sibling, a co-worker, a mentor, a neighbor, or a friend is a collaboration. You live in a world with others and must navigate the relationships you choose and the others you are given. Love in all its forms requires a commitment. It takes trust to let someone into your life. Love and intimacy are high-risk ventures. The exposure level is high when you let someone into your emotional circle.  Disappointment is a slow erosion of the soul. It starts as a crack and can become a cavern if left unattended. Do you know your relationship deal-breakers? Are you clear with yourself what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others? Will you ask others for what you are willing to give?

You read this looking for answers, and here I am asking you questions. The beauty to behold here is that asking the right questions is the answer. Think of the gameshow Jeopardy. You only win if you answer with a correct question. Trust yourself. You’re more capable than you think. You’re like Dorothy looking for a way home from Oz. You already have the power to get where you want to be. 

Trust yourself.